Enough is Enough!

Photo: Vox.com

Weary……emotionally drained, appalled, disappointed, boiling over

I am in a state of disbelief. Watching the President speak about his support for peaceful protest while simultaneously ordering the national guard to attack peaceful protesters outside the White House with tear gas and rubber bullets…and for what?? A photo op outside a historic church for a God he does not believe and holding a bible he does not read.

I am fuming. The President has chosen to mobilize the military against American citizens in a way that has not been seen since the early 1800s. Condemning rioters, looters, and disruptive protesters but never once outwardly, passionately, and with no uncertain terms has he condemned the actions of the police officers and called for all of their arrests.

I am heartbroken. Holding my 10 month old beautiful black baby girl, I wish I could keep her this small and innocent forever. I wish I could shelter her from the pains of this world but I can’t. The reality that one day when she’s older, I will have to remove her rose colored glasses and teach her to navigate this world with double consciousness. To be vigilant and discerning but proud and brave. How do I educate her about the oppression and discrimination of our ancestors but raise her to still show compassion and forgiveness towards others?

I am outraged. Having spent years working for various corporations only to witness their silence towards the pain and suffering of my people. Companies that pride themselves on diversity and inclusion. Content with me devoting my time, knowledge, and skill for the benefit of their bottom line but cowardly turning a blind eye to the injustices of black people. Happily accepting the black dollar, targeting the black consumer, but ignoring black concerns.

I am sad. Many white individuals I’ve had the pleasure of knowing whether through school or work, have been silent. Not just about George Floyd, but all the other killings of black men and women at the hands of white cops. We’ve laughed together, celebrated major milestones, grabbed drinks, broken bread, and shared our lives yet you quietly stand by while my people cry out for help. I live with fears you will never understand and though you will never truly know what it’s like to be in my shoes, I sure wish you would just say something.

I am mourning a portion of my peace. Long gone are the days I feel safe in airports, movie theaters, churches, grocery stores, and schools as a result of mass shootings. Constantly on edge, making note of every exit, keeping an eye out for suspicious activity. But now places where I have found peace of mind, no longer feel safe. My car, my home, even jogging outside are no longer safe spaces.